The Proper Pronunciation of Drow

It is a debate that waged for years amongst Dungeons and Dragons players - What is the proper pronunciation of Drow?

The debate is about whether Drow, a race of dark elves, is pronounced "drow" like grow or is pronounced "drouw" like the word cow.

Well I am finally going to put this debate to rest.

Years ago I read a Dragon magazine article about Old English mythological monsters. One of them was the "dtrow", a dark elf creature that lives in caves and under bridges and attacks travellers and other surface dwellers, usually at night because it avoids sunlight. The "dtrow" is the basis for the Dungeons and Dragons dark elf race known as drow - but it is also the same root word for troll.

Dtrow is pronounced with a soft DT sound and pronounced like grow. Therefore the proper pronunciation of Drow is like the bow in crossbow, grow, mow the lawn, etc.

Anyone who is using the pronunciation "drouw" like cow, take a bow, ow that hurt, etc is saying it wrong due to ignorance of the word's origins.

Webster's Unabridged Dictionary (1970) states:

"Drow, n., [scot.]." The word is a variant of the Scots term "trow", which itself derives from the Scandinavian word "troll". The original Scottish Gaelic word is pronounced "dtrow" with a soft "dt" sound, and the original pronunciation sounds similar to "troll." The word is also found in Cornish and Welsh, with slight pronunciation differences. The race itself seems based on another dark elf, specifically the Dökkálfar of Norse mythology.

The word dtrow is also found in Old English, suggesting it was an universal word for dark elves on the British Isles.

Anyone who is pronouncing the word wrong, well shame on you! You are mangling the word. The Dtrow or Dökkálfar would be very upset to learn humans are mispronouncing their name so often due to sheer ignorance.

Priceless Price List for Graphic Design

If you are one of those creative nerds you spend a lot of time on a computer designing things for clients, the topic of client meddling will certainly have come up at least once in your brain or in conversation with a client or colleagues. You may not have called it "client meddling" but you might have used some expletives to describe the sheer annoyance of having to redo things again and again to make a picky client happy.

"I don't like this grey. It is too grey. Can you show me a different grey?"

"I changed my mind. I don't like the background. Can you redo it in blue and change everything so it matches the new blue?"

"Looks nice but can you go back and redesign everything from scratch so the layout is horizontal instead?"

And so on... it makes you want to throttle the client. The trick to getting around this is to explain to the client the amount of work that goes into every change - and that if they make repeated changes due to being picky then the designer should be charging an hourly rate and tracking the amount of time spent on every single change.

The price list below is a REAL price list posted by a graphic designer in the USA, partially serious and partially to illustrate to clients that client meddling = more time and more time = more money.

Found R2 Unit - Nerd Gag

In my latest Nerd Gag I have decided to go for a Star Wars theme. This time I didn't even bother to post an image of the item in question in hopes that people would get the reference. Posting a photo after all would be too obvious.

Found R2 Unit (E T Seton Park)

Somebody left their R2 unit at E T Seton Park this past weekend.

I took it home and while I was cleaning it I found it contained a scrambled message which I believe is for the owner.

If anyone knows someone called Obiwan Kenobi please contact me so can I return their R2 unit to them.

I mean, com'on, if you don't know what a R2 unit is then it pretty obvious you missed on a large chunk of 20th century pop culture.

Lost Jackalope - HUGE REWARD

As my third Nerd Gag I have decided to post in the Lost and Found section on Craigslist regarding a Lost Jackalope and offering a huge reward of $25,000.

The beauty of jackalopes is that some people might actually think they are a real animal as opposed to a mythical creature that people have been faking using taxidermy and photoshop. Photos of jackalopes do look pretty real after all so anyone seeing the photo might think it is a real animal.

I am very curious to see how many people respond thinking jackalopes are real animals.

Their responses will be posted below.

"Seriously???? J

Too funny"

-Sandy V.

"nice try dick head"

-DAWG

Evidently this Nerd Gag was too obvious of a prank.

One last one, from October 8th.

"Hi I think I found Freddy - we connected and he is very special - I won't take your reward just please get back to me 

Thanks"

-Diana

Dark Lord Cthulhu - Free to a Good Home

Following up my recent gag Craigslist post: "Time Traveling Editor Wanted" I have decided to make another gag Craigslist posting. So here you go. A homage to the Dark Lord Cthulhu.

I am curious to see what kind of people respond to this one... Should be worth a laugh. See the responses I got from the "Time Traveling Editor Wanted" post in the meantime.

The first response is already in. The post was only up for 2 minutes and here is the first response.

"You can send email to York University - Animal Behavior Psychology Professor who loves octopus and she always talk about them how intelligent they are.  Call them and they give you her name and email."

-Krystyna S.

I am almost tempted to do as she suggests, just as an extension of the gag.

2nd response:

"hey there ill take it i need something to eat up dem christans anyways do you have an orb to keep em in???"

-Christopher P.

 That level of insane spelling and lack of grammar should fit the Dark Lord nicely.

"Salutations,

I am true interested in providing a home for this beast.  I have been looking for an octopus for years.  Please let me know if your still looking to find a new companion for this little monster.  I love scary movies,  catching snake and feed creatures of this sort other little tasty critters.

Feel free to contact me any time.

Best regards,

Derrick J."

"is he spayed?"

-Jim E.

"so, does it fit into a cooking pot? piece by piece;   the say it does taste great; the bigger>the better!!!  
pls let us know asap!!!"

-Mike K.

"Hello
Have you considered universities? The biology/marine/limnology/

aquatic deparTmentS would be more equipped to handle it."
-Alex L.

"Do you still have this?"

-Bruce C.

 Apparently some people think I have an actual giant octupus that I am giving away. Some people apparently did not get all Dark Lord Cthulhu references as a joke.

The post was flagged and removed 7:54 AM today so I am going to spend today daydreaming of a new Nerd Gag to post.

Thank you to all who responded!